Neither, I would say. Well, I am referring to the way I am living my life. I don’t believe in acceptance. I don’t believe in fate. I don’t believe that one has no power to make changes in one own life. I don’t believe things happened for no reason. I don’t believe in bad luck. It’s really how you see the situation and how you choose to define it.
Accepting the social norm is a really hard thing for me to do. It has been and still is. I can never accept living the way society say how I should be living my life. I know if I did, I would have die broken-hearted and be living like a zombie. I have always been the curious type and too imaginative for my own good at times. I think thanks to my upbringing and mum; she has a huge influence in my personality, attributes and characters. I was never even a social norm even in my own cultural context. Mum was divorced and a single career woman in the 90’s. And, coming from a small city. Being divorced is seen as a disease. People avoid you thinking you will spread the ” divorce” plague or worried you will asked to borrow money. But mum was a tough, strong woman; she never once accept fate nor the social norm that divorced women are useless. She was heart-broken from everything but never once she hated anyone. She turned her whole energy onto me. I was her driving force. I, unknowingly kept her sane. I was her only focus in life. (This can be a pro and con at the same time) The pro is mum gave me and made me the way I am today. The con is she is overly protective of me.
What I am trying to say is if she has chosen to accept fate or accepted the social norm that we should be an outcast; I know I will surely not be the person I am today or even being here. For she is strong, I am strong. For she choose to challenge life, I choose to challenge life. For she believes in independence and fighting for what you believe in thus I am the same. She believe that you can do whatever you want as long as you set your mind to it and now I do believe it too. And, I think somehow deep down, she too wants to be free from everything like how I am trying to live my life today. I realized only now that without her, I will not be the person I am today. I chose freedom and racing for my happiness because of her. I chose to live with my set of social rules because of her. I chose this life because she once said, “I can be whoever I want to be” and I believed.
Gulp! I never how similar we are until I write this today. Odd in a way. But, who says that the apple would fall too far from its tree.
I guess to sum up, I am saying that:
If you choose to accept whatever that comes, you are choosing to live the ordinary life but if you choose to challenge it, life would be extraordinary and be as colorful as you choose it to be.
Of course, by challenging the social norm, there’s always a price to pay. What? You may think? The most important element to human survival – social acceptance and being on the inside. It is tough not being the same. It can be tough not being accepted for who you are, most days. It can be tough wondering alone if you have made the right choice. As we are all human, social animal that need the company and acceptance of others. It is tough being on the outside.
I think most often I realized that it is the price to pay for being different but ultimately, I also know that the reward to challenge and to defy the norm is much greater than the short-term pain I might endure. I have come a long way. I am feasting at some of the reward now.
WHY BE ORDINARY WHEN YOU CAN BE EXTRAORDINARY!
- Once prevalent social norms… (onemorecup.wordpress.com)
- Gender Norms: Creating New Instructions (wildfeministappears.wordpress.com)
- Economists and the Public Good (forbes.com)
- The Philosophy of Growing Up (sssstrands.wordpress.com)
- Study Finds Toddlers Enforce Social Norms, Object When People or Puppets Break the Rules (sciencespacerobots.com)