OK! First, I guess we first need to understand what is introvert? Based on my definition: someone who are not shy but just needed more time for him or herself to have their own space to breathe and think. (to be honest, I don’t think there’s a universal standard guideline of being an introvert or an extrovert and it can also be in between).
I think I am generally more of an ambiversion person but I’m leaning more towards introversion. According to Wiki: Ambiversion is a term used to describe people who fall more or less directly in the middle and exhibit tendencies of both groups. An ambivert is normally comfortable with groups and enjoys social interaction, but also relishes time alone and away from the crowd.
Somehow I realised that the older I get, my introvertness seem to be getting more intense. Is it bad? I don’t think so but the extrovertness world that we live in make us (introverts) felt left out and odd. And, another factor that contribute to my introvertness to be more distinct is the Western world that I’ve chosen to live in. How? Because somehow ASIAN are always seen as more secretive and keeping to themselves which are not necessary true.
Gosh! To be honest, I really think it’s a mix of everything that had intensify my introvertness in life.
But, let me do point a few things out about being an introvert that people sometimes tend not to understand are :
1. Introverts are shy or afraid of people
This is a MYTH. Shyness or being afraid of people has nothing to do with introvert. I am neither shy or afraid of people. But, I just don’t like to interact for the sake of interacting. I don’t fancy time-wasting small talks. Therefore, I need a good reason to interact. Gosh! Doesn’t that make me sound like a *B&#@!*? I am NOT – Really!
So, what do you do when you encounter an introvert? Just start talking! What’s stopping you? As long as you are genuine in wanting to talk to me, I will surely and gladly have a good conversation with you.
2. Introverts don’t like to talk.
NOT TRUE! I do enjoy talking but being an introvert, I just don’t talk unless I have something to say. I hate small talk. When I find the right conversationist, trust me, I won’t shut up for days. (Currently, my partner is holding this distinguished role)
3. Introverts are often thought as rude, don’t like people and don’t like to go out in public.
Sigh! I wish I can go on sighing! The above are again – – all a MYTH.
Introverts are just people who don’t see a reason for beating around the bush because of social obligation. Thus, I prefer to remain quiet and observing. I genuinely prefer and want people around me to just be real, genuine and honest. But, these kind of setting are not common in our everyday world. So, to fit in, it is both hard and an exhausting process. Probably, that is why people think Introverts are rude and don’t like people.
Don’t like to go out in public? What nonsense is that? I do like to go out in public but I don’t need a whole bunch of noisy friends tagging along like my fans. I am most certainly comfortable being alone or a good friend. I just don’t fancy being in an unnecessary crowd where I need a lot of energy to unwind later and I don’t like spending a lot of time wasted at an unproductive socializing. Usually after a social event, I am really exhausted, both physically and mentally. It really takes a lot of energy of me.
In saying that, I do still enjoy some social events but selectively few.
4. Introverts always want to be alone.
This is both TRUE and UNTRUE. The thing is an introvert is perfectly comfortable with his/her own thoughts. I think and daydream a lot. But, I enjoy an occasional sincere connection with someone about my recently discoveries, life, achievement, disappointment and everyday’ stuffs. The problem is I only share this connection with ONE PERSON at a time. This role is usually filled up by my partner at the time. Therefore more than usual, other people thinks that I’m just such a mystery.
5. Introverts are weird, a need, a geek and whatever you want to call them.
I think the reason for this is of course, the lack of understanding of introverts. I can be seen as all the above just because I don’t follow the crowd nor the norm. I prefer novelty ways of living. I don’t make decisions based on what is in but I tend to just challenge the norm and tried the other ways. If that makes me weird, I guess I am.
6. Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Please define RELAX and FUN? Isn’t that suppose to be up to an individual to decide?
In our society, the ideal self is bold, gregarious, and comfortable in the spotlight. We like to think that we value individuality, but mostly we admire the type of individual who’s comfortable “putting himself out there.” Our schools, workplaces, and religious institutions are designed for extroverts. Introverts are to extroverts what American women were to men in the 1950s — second-class citizens with gigantic amounts of untapped talent. – Susan Cain’s “Quiet : The Power of Introverts
Why I wrote this post? Because I realised today:
- I’m mentally and physically exhausted after a day at the camp
- I always struggled with the informal socialising in the staffroom
- At lunch times, I always go back to my room for some “me” time
- I have to psych myself up before I enter a room
- pushing my comfort level limit
- reminding myself that I’ve to do these because of good reasons
- telling myself, I’ll eventually have a break for a “Me” time
- I’ve my other strengths and skills in sub-dimension that I can tap into
Many introverts feel there’s something wrong with them, and try to pass as extroverts. But whenever you try to pass as something you’re not, you lose a part of yourself along the way. You especially lose a sense of how to spend your time. Introverts are constantly going to parties and such when they’d really prefer to be home reading, studying, inventing, meditating, designing, thinking, cooking…or any number of other quiet and worthwhile activities.- Susan Cain’s “Quiet : The Power of Introverts
- Introverts in an Extroverted Society (blogs.psychcentral.com)
- Are Extroverts Happier than Introverts? (psychologytoday.com)