Well, it had been awhile since I really wrote in this blog. Not because I don’t want to but, I am just constantly overwhelmed with university’s work. I guess no excuse for not making the effort.
I guess lots of time I wanted to write. But, when I finally logged in, my mind just went blank. I go like “damn”, I have so much to blog about this afternoon while walking to uni. but now, i cant remember a thing.
Well, let’s see what was I thinking about lately.
1. I was thinking about FRIENDS
I was asking myself what is friends? Truly? I really have no idea. I guess for my case, it’s slightly more than acquaintance. Partly, I guess I have myself to blame cause I really don’t have those besties/bestfriends/bestbuds that everyone seems to have. Not because I’m crying over it now. I was just pondering to myself how not everyone are blessed with such a friend. Definitely not ME. No one actually truly know me and no one has capture my heart in that way I guess. True, I do have lots of friends but it’s complicated. LOL! Those who I genuine care about doesn’t seems to respond (as those friends I see on movies) LOL! Do I feel bad about it? —I don’t know. I seriously don’t. I don’t think I care but I do wondered what if…just what if…..
Nuts! I know……
2. I was thinking about MARRIAGE
Yup…Dont be surprise. It does pass through my head too. I am still truly by blood an ASIAN and think like an asian, I think. LOL!
Wow…Wee…..! I cannot imagine going back home this time next year. Most of my friends are either engaged to be married, Married, Pregnant, a Parent, or being Pregnant a second time round. I am happy for them. I do really. But, I guess I am worried about all those pressure that I’ll be getting. From friends, relatives, parent’s friends….and thank god (*not that I believe in them/him/her, just a figure of speech*) that my parents are not pressuring me!
I was asking myself if I want to be married? I seriously don’t know anymore. Gosh! I did, once upon a time. It felt so long ago that I felt that way. But, it’s slowly fading away. Do you think it’s my hormone talking or the Western mindset had influence me? That..I have no justification.
There are just way too much things that I want to accomplish in my life that I am just not prepared for such a relationship or such a life. But, I guess it’s hard to say how I would feel in the next year. For now…..it seems too farfetched.
3. I was thinking how and why I am always attracting people in telling me their secrets/problems
Don’t ask me how and why. I didn’t invite them to. But, I seem to be the one people tend to call, text or want to meet up for a cup of cuppa when they have problem. LOL! Sound sad in a way that people don’t contact me when they are happy. LOL! I see myself as the least unlikely person someone would want to throw they problems/secret to but, the reality says the opposite. I seriously at times wondered why? Is Age a factor? Or is it because I don’t judge? Or perhaps, it’s just easier to talk to an acquaintance coz they are least likely to be prejudice against you?
Whatever the reasons are…it can be both flattering and sad! Don’t get me wrong – – I have no problem if one chose to convey in me and making me their confidant. But, it can get me down at times as I really feel that I’m probably not the best person to talk to. I don’t really know how to comfort or advice people. All I can do is lend a ear and perhaps, share one or two my silly experiences. If that helps…
Oh well…..I guess enough rambling for the day. I should really be studying for my exams now…
Alrighty! Good night world! And Sleep Tight!