It is 18 days to 2011. Are you ready? I know I am. Afraid? Ya, kind of. But, it is all good. Being afraid is knowing that the time is ticking away and you need to make every minutes count. I am definitely aware and I’m constantly feeling that the time is slipping through me.
Anyway, now looking back, I had my ups and downs. But, one thing for sure was that I was unfulfilled. Both, emotionally and mentally. Don’t get me wrong. I had a good life but not a great one. I had a fantastic partner; we had our own place and even a few other properties. Life was pretty smooth but I felt stagnant. I wasn’t feeling life. It felt like life is all about work and a big whole routine which was just not made for me. I hated routines. However, life was comfortable and I feel myself slipping away. I felt as if I have become like everyone else. Metaphorically saying, I live like a robot.
I was searching. Constantly searching for what is wrong with me. Why am I not satisfied? What am I looking for? Who am I? What am I?
You know what, the answer has always been there. I need to get away. My love for travel and exploring is not as simple as some other friends, saving up for a few weeks holiday abroad. I need to be out there. The only problem is now to find the right career that suit my lifestyle. I’m not giving in anymore to suit the work, or the environment. The work need to suit me. It seems arrogant this kind of thinking, isn’t it? But, I guess that is the only way I will find my own happiness. As I know now, my definition of happiness varies widely from those of my friends. I don’t seek for the perfect man. I don’t seek for a managerial post. I don’t seek for a big mansion. I don’t seek for branded goods. I don’t seek approval. I don’t want to live someone’s else’s dream. All I am and want is to be free.
Looking ahead, I am looking for possibilities and chances. I need to find it and grab it. I need to acknowledged that my passion is truly for the travel. And, I need to stop asking if I’m weird. I guess I am weird to some people but it’s ok. That is what make me happy. And, I should be all out for it.
I have clearer vision now to where I’m heading to. I’ve devised my plan mentally and will followed it through. Nothing is going to stop me now. Except……….
…………….for the part of how am I going to explain my heart’s desire to my parents. Sigh! Would they understand?
So, what does my future hold? Keep following this blog if you are interested.
Let me know what you think of my choice? Leave a comment. I would deeply appreciate it.