FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 25, 2009
Cold Freaking Cold Spring
It’s Spring now in New Zealand. But, I have no idea why is so freaking cold. It’s actually in fact, colder than winter. The start of Spring was great. Flowers were blooming and lots of sun. Sigh! I wondered where the sun have gone to, recently.
Well, with all this coldness, my life still goes on. I have lots of assignments all due in the next 1-2 weeks, a presentation next Friday, mid-term exam next Tuesday and final is just around the corner. Sigh! How come 2nd Semester just seems to pass so fast. I am hardly ready and, now it’s the end already. Oh…well… In fact…I can’t wait to finish my studies. Well…not because I am not happy with it. I am. I love to be here studying especially doing something that I like but, the fact is also, I feel the pressure of life. Yes, I do have pressure too. You know, it’s just so natural for people to think that if one is oversea, of course that someone is having fun. True…partially……
You know life is a stage for one to perform, as Erving Goffman stressed. Not, to say all people are pretending but, it’s all about preparing that front stage performance (unconsciously or consciously) to be performed to your audiences (your friends, your family, people around you, the society). A good example of this, how many people actually posted pictures of themselves when they are down…when one is crying..We don’t. Because this is not expected of you.
What I am trying to say, at the front stage, I am performing my role as a diligent student, as a responsible daughter, as a compassionate friend..Back stage, I am struggling to pay my fees, struggling to keep my mum’s expectation and make her happy, struggling to be good friend to friends, and all others.
Truthfully, how many would admit this? I do!
We all put on different roles, each time differently, we manage our roles according to situation and perform to our best capabilities and only once in a while, you show your back stage; YOU ; to the one closest to you (perhaps, the time where you just needed to cry).
Hahhahahah! I sounded pessimistic, isn’t it? Actually not, I just hope to bring in that perspective that sometimes, things are just not so bad. Coz, everyone would experience their good and bad days. It’s just the perspective of how you look at things.
It’s all in You & Your Mind!