It’s June already. Am going to experience my first winter ever. Sadly, I don’t know why I no longer look forward towards it. I don’t know why. Everything has change for me that I am in the process of not knowing how to go forward with it.
I knew exactly before what I wanted to do but, now it’s all confusion all over again. Like as if I’m back when I’m 18. But, somehow, something is different from when I was 18. I have some kind of understanding and awareness of life, I guess..I should put it that way.
I notice I haven’t been actively blogging recently.Firstly, was because I am genuinely busy with Uni. stuffs. Totally the opposite of what I expected. I really thought I’ll be more relaxed compared to working life. But, I guess going back to do your studies when you are slightly mature, there is an advantage is that you no longer take things lightly. And, you obviously have a clearer mind of what you want and expecting. But, the disadvantage is I no longer know how to relax and just let go. I kind of admire the energy some of the young people; right after high-school,uni. students; partying all night long and still be able to get to the uni. Or just skipped it as if it’s no body’s business. Come on…I was there once….Totally, care free and care less what would happened to my life. I just wanna have fun. Well, sadly…now…I have to admit…..I’m getting old. Age is catching up fast. Should I be worried?
Secondly, again…Uni. stuffs. I was struggling with assignments, lab reports, exams and catching up with course readings. Yup, I have not read so much “textbook” or “course readings” in my whole life than I have now. Good? Maybe! I am also struggling with my assignments and lab reports. Well, the expectation here is so much higher. It’s not like back home. I would easily be the top few students scoring in my assignments but, here…. OUCH! and, exam?? Should I still be talking about it? Sigh! Sadly…I think the age factor is a big thing; remembering notes for exam now do require needs more of my concentration and energy than before.
Thirdly, am busy catching up with New Zealand and friends. Come on, I am in such beautiful place, you can’t expect me to just stay indoor whenever there is some free time. Am trying to make full use of the time I have here. Trying not to just fall into the uni. obligation thingy only and forget to breath. I still need times for new friends here, taking everything in that New Zealand have to offer and whatever is left – some time for myself.
And, those have basically take up all my time, not counting the hours spend in normal everyday routine like sleeping, bathing, eating…and etc.
I need more time.Time is catching up with me real fast. Everything is happening real fast that I have no idea where to steal some. Anyone would consider giving me some of their precious time?
I know…silly question! =P
I know being busy is not the only thing keeping me occupied but, everything is a whole new start for me. My thinking and the life I thought I knew have all changed too.
For example; me doing psychology? Ya, I would never have thought doing it last year. Don’t get me wrong. I have always been interested in the psychology since after high school but, never got the blessing of my parents to do it. So, I guess I have learnt to just forget it until now. I realised this might be the only chance I have or might have to fulfill that dream of mine and basically, why not? I got nothing to lose actually. So, I took the Psychology major and, was initially, majoring in Communication Studies as well, because that’s where I left off after I have gotten my diploma previously. But, sociology totally hit me as a better choice. So, here I am now majoring in both psychology and sociology. I know…some people thinks it’s a weird combo. Well, I guess I am weird in a way too. hahahhahahah!
Well, exam is coming up real soon. On the 16th and the 23th. But, cross my fingers, I will still try to find some times to blog.